Whether you’re having sexual intercourse, oral sex, or just fooling around, there is nothing more irritating than something ruining your orgasm just before you climax. After all, orgasming isn’t easy to achieve, at least not for everyone. So when you’ve been working towards the big O and suddenly stumble, you’ll definitely be experiencing some serious sexual frustration.
Not only do men get blue balls, women get them too. We just call them pink balls. Whether you get pink-balled or blue-balled, sexual frustration isn’t easy to relieve, especially when you have to deal with any of these 21 orgasm killers.
- A phone call: Whether it’s mom, dad, grandma, or your ex calling, hearing the phone ring is definitely a buzz kill. Something about being on the tip of your climax and knowing Granny Sue is calling isn’t very sexy.
- Baby talk: There is nothing about baby talk that is sexy when you’re making someone orgasm. Period. Unless your partner has a fetish for little children, and in that case … get out of bed.
- “Shh, be quiet”: If you’re about to reach that point where your toes are curling under, your leg is shaking, and you just happen to be a little loud, and then your partner tells you to be quiet, no more orgasm for you.
- Bad change of music: Great music has been on the whole time, and just as you’re about to reach the O-zone, the song switches to “Y.M.C.A” by The Village People. The only thing Y.M.C.A stands for at that point is: Yes, my clit absolutely hates you.
- “Did you come yet?”: Being rushed into anything sucks, especially an orgasm.
- “Is it my turn yet?”: Being selfish is always a turn off. Let your partner indulge in their orgasm, don’t ruin it because you want one too. You’ll get yours.
- Random dirty talk: Unless you and your partner are used to dirty talking, being at the brink of coming and hearing your partner say “you like that s**t, baby” or “oh yeah, daddy” can’t be more of a buzz kill.
- Your pet joins in: You’re about to climax when your cute dog Buddy decides he wants some loving too by licking your face. There is nothing orgasmic about a threesome with your pet.
- TV: Whether it’s “Sports Center,” breaking news, or the sadist scene in “The Notebook,” someone is going to get distracted. Focus on the orgasm, not the TV, OK?
- Queef: Oops.
- Fart or vomit: There is nothing more unappetizing than being on the verge of an orgasm and hearing your partner pass gas. Must we explain why vomiting ruins the mood? I think not.
- Calls another name: Heavy panting, back scratching, this orgasm is about to blow your mind … and then he calls you the wrong name.
- Sexual Tourette’s Syndrome: Remember the episode of “Sex and the City,” in which Charlotte sleeps with a man who calls her a slut or a whore when he’d climax? Random outbursts without explanation will do more than ruin an orgasm, they might simply scare the orgasm out of you.
- He goes soft: You’re on top riding him and just about to reach the point of no return when he loses it. How does he expect you to orgasm when his dick isn’t even hard? Rude.
- Premature ejaculation: All this does is cut the fun short and ruin the orgasm experience for one of you. Maybe he couldn’t control it, but it sure does ruin the big O.
- Brings up the ex: There is absolutely no excuse to ever bring up an ex in bed, especially not when you’re about to climax.
- Too focused: When your partner is so focused on making you orgasm it doesn’t really allow you to enjoy the orgasm itself.
- Switching the pace or position: The pace is just right and you’re just about to orgasm when all of a sudden your partner changes the pace or position. But it was working so well before!
- Too tired: Reaching your orgasm isn’t always the easiest and might take some time, but when your partner tells you they’re too tired to finish, there is no way you’re achieving that orgasm now.
- Using teeth: Private parts are not to be nibbled on … unless that’s a personal fetish and you ask for it. Use your teeth on his penis before he orgasms and you’ll probably end up with a black eye.
- The baby cries: Finally, you have some time alone with your partner and just as you’re about to orgasm, all you hear is “wahhh!” Now that’s a buzzkill.