What do women want?
We’ve all asked it.
As guys, we generally want success, respect, and sex.
Those usually equate to love for us.
For women, it’s not that simple.
We think buying things impresses them.
We try to be taller or make more money to get the girl.
But is that really what they want?
What can we actually do to attract her?
Things that we can control.
This article will discuss 10 things that really make you attractive to any women.
#1 Be A Great Leader
Leadership can be defined as the ability to give guidance and direction verbally or by modeling. It’s not about control.
Women want to feel like they are with a leader but not a dictator. In relationships, women can give us the level of trust that borders on livelihood.
It’s important that they hear from you on matters such as where you want the relationship to go and the goals you have for it. Way’s to show that you can lead are:
- Always consider the impact on the relationship instead of the individual when making a decision – your individual feelings aren’t as important as what’s going to be best for the both of you.
- Keep her needs at the forefront of the relationship – selflessness is necessary as it exhibits sacrifice.
- Initiate and engage in activities that will help the relationship grow – Showing a commitment to the mental, emotional, and physical well-being of the relationship will help to solidify the bond and attraction between you and your girl.
- Finishing what you start – This is for the small things as well as they can set the precedent for reliability
Being comfortable doing these may also show that you are excited about the relationship. You are making a concerted effort that demonstrates that you want to be there.
#2 Communicate Actively
Without getting too academic, communication is simply the exchange of ideas, needs, and desires. The essence of this concept is straightforward and uncomplicated but putting into action is all but.
It’s no secret that women talk more than men. There is a concept known as gender jabber which highlights the differences in the number of words that men and women speak. Louanne Brizendine, MD (Professor at University of California –San Francisco) has found that women speak an average of 20000 words per day and guys use about 7000 words per day.
This means that women talk almost 3 times as much as men. Guys, I’m sure that experience has taught you this.
There’s a lesson to be learned and it’s twofold:
- We need to listen more than we speak. If we try to over talk the ladies it will become competitive. They are hard wired to emote verbally and share their thoughts. If we are speaking just as much as they are, there is a chance that we are not listening to everything that.
- What you say should be substantive. Make sure (to the extent possible) that what you are saying is valuable. You don’t need to be a philosopher but you do need to ensure that you’re choosing your words wisely because you talk less. Talking less gives you less time to explain if you say something wrong or offensive. Using fewer words doesn’t always allow you to be as detailed as possible. I’m not suggesting that you talk more. I am suggesting, however, that you speak with more intent.
Mastering the art of communication is tough and different for each relationship. The way that you find out what the needs are is to COMMUNICATE. Talk about each other
- Goals and ambitions
- Fears and pains
- Beliefs and values
- Relationship with family and friends
- Expectation and guidelines for the relationship.
It’s important to note that a relationship’s needs will change depending on the season of life and you have to learn how to communicate those adjustments.
Lastly, learn to “speak her language”. Your lady will have specific tells that mean specific things. It could be nonverbal or verbal, but she has them nonetheless. Hone in on those nuanced communication methods. When you pick up on them, she will appreciate it more and you will earn more point with her.
#3 Put Others First
This goes beyond not being selfish as in not wanting to share.
Selfless also means that thinking of others before self. The selfless trait allows a man to be a giver especially when it counts.
When displaying this characteristic, you’re showing that what she values is just as important (and at times more important) that what you need. This same quality will be reciprocated by your woman. It’s innate in her.
Thoughtfulness is the cousin of being selfless and allows you to run the gambit of emotional maturity. It’s highly under-regarded by many men Being thoughtful is the combination of
- Selflessness – the willingness to sacrifice
- Attentiveness – listening to her needs
- Compassion – displaying kindness toward your wife or girlfriend
- Honesty and integrity – showing that truth and having high character is non-negotiable
#4 Have Manners
What’s worse than being out with a person who doesn’t have good temperament? It’s a person who doesn’t have good manners. It doesn’t matter if you were raised in a majority male home or that you are in all male-dominated sports. A “please” and a “thank you” can a long way.
Manners can be displayed in a bevy of different ways
- Chivalry – Doing research for the article, I was surprised at the amount of women that are not used to a door being opened for them or don’t know that they shouldn’t walk on the outside (close to the street) when walking with their beau.
- Being polite – Women are delicate and tender and should be treated as such. Using harsh words with an abrasive tone will shut her down. When speaking to a woman – whether it’s your first conversation or you 50th one – being polite will always work in your favor.
- Dating Etiquette – Guys, pull her chair out. Don’t eat until her plate arrives. Pay attention to her face and not her chest/butt/legs. It’s okay to glance and admire but don’t be a pervert and stare all evening.
#5 Be Family Oriented
All women don’t have the desire for marriage and a family, but the overwhelming majority do have this need. Being a guy that wants family or has children and is present with your kids increases your attractiveness exponentially.
- Nowadays, kids aren’t as big of a deal breaker as they once were. Your chances aren’t necessarily shot if you have kids. With that, being a great father and provider to your children shows her
- You want children
- You will be present if you have children together regardless of the outcome of the relationship
- You’re not a jerk who would leave children fatherless
Being a family oriented man also means that during conversations and throughout dating she will see that you would prioritize her as your wife.
Another way to show that you are a family man is to allow her to see the interaction between you and your family. Even if your family isn’t close, express to her you desire to change that story. Let her know that you want to be close to your children and don’t want to repeat the cycle that you were once in.
#6 Be Vulnerable
This is often difficult for guys to do. We pride ourselves on being manly…having machismo but the truth is that we have feelings just like women.
They need to see and experience that you are comfortable being open with them. Allowing her to encounter your vulnerability will increase trust.
It shows that you trust her with the deep and dark places in your life.
Don’t do this in the beginning stages of getting to know someone. Many times that can be too much too soon. You will know when the time is right. Remember, there is fearlessness in being vulnerable.
#7 Stay Informed & Educated
Keeping abreast on what’s happening around the globe and can talk about it is a quality that shows that you are a part of the world. You don’t have to be a political analyst or a philanthropist.
However, it is important that you show that you care enough to learn and understand other cultural perspectives. This does mean being able to shift the conversation from time to time away from work or family to something else of equal relevance.
A gentleman who is connected to the world around him proves to his lady that he understands that he’s part of something that’s bigger than him. It displays that you know that the world doesn’t revolve around you and your experience. This is a key component in being compassionate.
#8 Have A Sense Of Humor
Not the type of humor that’s crass and insensitive, or even the kind that jokes about everything. But a great sense of humor that’s well timed.
A man who appreciates a good chuckle and who has the ability to balance the weight of serious matters with the gift of lightheartedness through laughter is a rare find.
Having a great sense of humor communicates to her that in tough times you will be able to smile through them. It will help anchor her trust in you as a confidante.
An often forgotten part of humor is wit. Wit can be defined as the keen perception and cleverly apt expression of those connections between ideas that awaken amusement and pleasure. Ladies like a guy who’s quick on his feet and can have creative playful banter. A witty guy have life and vitality; he loves fun. She’ll love it too.
#9 Be Adventurous & Spontaneous
Women like a guy who isn’t afraid to try new things. Men have been categorized as creatures of habit who like a routine. If you’re able to throw a monkey wrench in that perception, your attractiveness will have shot through the roof.
- This sense of adventure can be seen by:
- Trying new foods
- Going new places
- Picking up a new hobby
The overall gist is that no one wants to be committed to falling into a rut, so being adventurous or adopting a perspective that enjoys trying new things from time to time can boast wonderfully for a man trying to catch the eye or keep the interest of a lady.
#10 Know How To Fix Things
Don’t just think frugal or cheap. In fact, ladies hate cheap! Resourceful is a mixture of the ultimate networker and the MacGyver. The key here is not that you necessarily know how to do everything but more that you know how to get things done. Or that you know someone who knows someone that can get it done.
- It’s important that you are able to leverage your:
to reach your goals. This is great in the lean times of life. Additionally, this is a way to reassure your woman that you don’t deal with too much pride. Leveraging relationships is a fancy way to say “ask for help”. If you are too prideful to acknowledge that you need help and your ego is too big to accept help, then your relationship is in turmoil. Prove your resourcefulness early on. Life will always give you an opportunity to do so.
Bonus Tip #11 – Be A Man Of Style
I could not leave this one off the list! Men of style display a confidence that you don’t usually outwardly see. You don’t have to be the best-dressed man in the room. It is critical that you pay attention to you appearance and take pride in the fact that you will represent your wife or girlfriend even when she is not around. Style goes beyond clothes and can be seen in elements such as
Being a guy that displays these attributes will make you more attractive. You have be aware that she’s not like us in that the physical is the most important thing. She wants to feel secure, regarded, and loved. Providing those things in the context of the above list will help her fall and stay in love!