BREAKUPS ARE AWFUL.
You have been hurt and offended. The abominable repetition of happy and sad memories that babble in your mind without fail. The urge to reach out to him for comfort but hardly possible because he is the reason for your pain. The denial. The constant wondering of what ifs and whys.
According to the book Singleness, Marriage, and the Will of GOD by J. Robin Maxson, During the early stages of the relationship, both individuals are putting their best selves on display. Initial attraction can have an inebriating effect on the perceptions each is forming of the other. Typically it takes at least three months for imperfections to begin to surface, for patterns to begin to show through. As a result, it’s really hard to know what a person is really like during that early phase. We eventually feel miserable after breakup because we have invested time, effort and emotion. Nevertheless, pain is temporary. It’s just a matter of time. And remember, God did not allow someone to be in your life because he will give you the best.
LEARN THE ART OF LETTING GO AND REFOCUS.
But how are you going to grapple from pain after the breakup? Instead of pitying in your room alone, swerve and divert your attention.
· TURN YOUR WOUNDS INTO WISDOM
Don’t dwell. Dwelling is something we often can’t resist doing, yet it can anchor us in the past and keep us from moving on. Change is normal and even if we’ve already invested time and emotion in something that doesn’t mean we should cling onto it definitely. Acceptance is the key. The painful experience can offer transformations and positive change. When all is said and done, you will realize God is preparing you for someone who will stare at you like you’re the most precious treasure.
· MAKE YOURSELF BUSY
Occupy your mind with new ideas, spend time with your loved ones, or learn something new. After the break up I had immersed myself in writing new ideas, engaged with my friends and took a crash course to keep myself busy.
· EXERCISE / GYM
Clear your mind. Sweat it out. Listen to your favorite music while running or working out. It will make you feel good and helps reduce anxiety and depression. However, do not listen to emotive love songs on Spotify or iTunes.
· DECLUTTER AND REMOVE ALL MEMORIES
Throw your old stuff and let go. Remove all the memories. Learn not to replay the hurts and pains in your mind. I’ve read this phrase somewhere: “The mind always replays what the heart could not delete”. The Key is to fill the heart and mind with good and better things.
· TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
You may think you’re the grotesque individual on earth because you keep wondering why it happened. You may pamper yourself or cut your hair. Be thankful to start a new chapter of your life without him. Feel good about yourself.
· DON’T FORGET THE LESSON
Always remember the lesson you’ve learned from your past relationship. Remember this saying, “You can never make the same mistake twice, because the second time you make it, it’s not a mistake, it’s a choice.” – Steven Denn
· TRAVEL / GO TO YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ALONE
For me traveling alone is like dating yourself and finding inner peace. You will appreciate everything: the places, the people you will meet along the way, and the solitude. It’s empowering. It gives you a good feeling that you are independent and helps you focus on the positive.
· CUT ALL THE CONTACTS AND DO NOT STALK HIS SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS.
Delete all the contacts and if you can, unfollow him in social media. It’s time to let go for your own sanity. Stop using your energy on something that is not meant to be.
· BE GRATEFUL FOR EVERYTHING
Always smile. Appreciate every single thing. There’s nothing more beautiful than a person who exudes self-confidence and self-love. Count your blessings including your friends and family. They are always there to support and cheer you up.
· WAIT AND PRAY FOR THE RIGHT ONE
God will give the desire of your heart. We only need to wait for the right one.
Moving on is radically agonizing but relationships should bring out the best in you. If it no longer serves you, or makes you happy, better to let it go.